Unexpected Lessons from a 4th Grade Classroom

Five days after returning home from my mission I began my student teaching in a 4th grade classroom near my home. For my first week I remained mostly an observer; learning the students' names, getting the classroom rules and procedures down, and remembering what it was like to be in a classroom after a year and a half of never stepping inside of one. My mentor teacher gave me "gotchas" which are little slips of paper students get if they are on task or if they do something kind or their homework neatly or what have you. At the end of the day they put their names on it and put it in a bowl that the teacher randomly picks 5 names from and those 5 get a piece of candy. Of course, the more your name is in there the better the chance they have of getting candy so the students love getting those slip of papers. So, seeing them get excited to get them made me excited to give them out. Plus, the more I got to know each student the more I wanted to give them slips because I began to care more and more about them every day. I began to look so hard all over the classroom just for a chance to give someone a paper. It has become one of my favorite parts of teaching.
One afternoon the students were presenting a science project each of them had done. There was a student who was a super good and sharp kid but also very rowdy. He kept leaning back on his chair and messing around and in general just not listening to really anything going on in the science lesson. I went and stood by him which made him stop for awhile, but not long. I asked him to hold still, that I knew it was hard, but that it was the respectful thing to do. I sat back and mentally told myself, "if he makes it 3-4 minutes without doing anything rowdy I am going to give him a gotcha because I know how hard it really is for him to sit still". I sat there, ticking down the time, praying he'd make it, and every time at the last minute or right at the beginning or in the middle of the time frame he'd act out again. I just remember it suddenly being so important to me that he make it. I even began to pray and "will" him with my mind to sit still so I could give him a gotcha. But he never did. Later on he did something else I was able to give him a gotcha for doing but it felt sort of hollow. Though it was "gotcha" worthy, it was well below what I knew he could have done to get one. It was genuinely a sad experience for me that left me reflective for quite some time. And today I realized why it hit me:

How must God feel?

Can you just imagine Him in heaven looking down with His pile of "gotchas"-blessings from on high that we cannot even imagine we are worthy or capable of receiving? He watches, knowing exactly what it is we must do to receive those blessings and WANTS desperately to have us do it so He can give us those things He wants us to have. But He CANNOT unless we are obedient to the things that predicate that blessing. He may be able to give us other blessings later on, but imagine how hollow it must feel to Him after watching us blow off what we really could do and become. It must break His heart. He can plead, He can beg, He can offer us EVERY opportunity and assistance we need, He can prompt, lead, guide, love, succor,- but He cannot force us nor can He bless us unless we are able to do what is asked of Truth and the Laws of the Universe to relieve that blessing; for God will not be mocked. And because He loves us and wants what's best for us how true the statement is:

IF ye love me keep my commandments

So let us forever show our love for Him, as He has shown His love for us to us in every way we can imagine.