Jesus Wept

I was reminded of this verse in Relief Society today. It has been reflected on in many different ways and at many different times by others. The meaning that has been most powerful to me though, especially at the end of my mission (which was the most difficult era for me) is how it displays Christ's compassion. If you haven't read it recently, check out John 11. This is where Lazareth dies BECAUSE Christ tarries despite his family's pleas to come and heal him. We know now that Christ tarried in order for Lazareth to be considered truly dead by Jewish law (they believed it took 3 days for the spirit to leave the body) and thus prove His divinity by raising Lazareth from the dead, but they didn't know that. For them they waited anxiously, wondering why the Lord could possibly "tarry" while such a trial was at hand. I am sure the moments were agonizing, as their eyes searched the road for any indication that their Savior would come to them in this their time of greatest need. Yet He did not come, and seemingly, all was lost. I find it interesting, because when Christ did arrive, Mary and Martha both expressed Faith in Him AND His plan. One testifies that had Christ been there "my brother had not died" but that she KNEW that her brother would rise again in the Resurrection, that in the end it would be OK. She had the testimony of the Plan of Salvation LONG before Christ had officially conquered death. But the Resurrection must have felt a long ways away. Comfort felt far away. Hope felt far away. At that moment Christ knew that in a matter of SECONDS the very cause of sorrow for Mary/Martha would become an incredible joy as Lazareth came forth from the grave. Despite this knowledge, despite that to Him and His eternal perspective their pain may have seemed silly or short sighted, He did not say "It is going to be OK, be patient and get with the program, I'm about to wake your brother up" or "use your faith to cheer up and realize this isn't permanent" or "no matter how much I tell you guys about my power you still have cause for sadness?". What he did do was weep. He wept not for Lazareth or his death, he wept for THEIR pain, THEIR sorrow, THEIR discomfort. He knew they didn't know what lay ahead, He knew that they felt like Lazareth was gone until the second coming, He knew that they felt that this pain was unbearable and would last perhaps until their own deaths, He knew that they FELT pain DESPITE their Faith. So He wept. He wept with them.

I cannot even tell you the comfort it gives me to know that Christ can comfort me when I fail to see the big picture despite His ability to see it. He weeps with us, He really does, even if we are moments away from the greatest miracles of our lives. He weeps because He knows we felt alone because He "tarried" to better prove His divinity to us. He weeps because He knows how it feels. Most of all, He weeps because He loves us.

Practice Makes Permanent

Practice makes perfect, the adage goes, but someone wise corrected that half truth; practice makes permanent. Doing something over and over again will become second nature, but sadly that doesn't guarantee it will be a perfect thing. That is why it is vital we practice things the right way or we'd be better off not practicing at all. This concept became more important to me as I reread a story in the New Testament.

John 12 relates the story of Mary Magdalene anointing Christ with costly oils prior to his death. When Judas seeks to find fault with this action, proclaiming that it was a waste of money that otherwise could have been given to the poor, Christ rebukes him and tells him to "let her alone" for "the poor always ye have with you, but me you have not always." Although a powerful reminder to always putting Christ first (something Mary teaches us by example earlier in Christ's ministry as well) this story was presented to me in another light; the lesson in not serving but being served.

It is often easier to give than receive. We would rather give than feel we owe someone something. We would rather serve than have the embarrassment of needing help. We would rather listen and comfort than humbly speak out of our own pain and sufferings. The very moment we receive we are calculating a mental tab and feel guilty until we feel we have repaid the kindness. Unfortunately, this often doesn't stem from an acute sense of selflessness but rather a malady of pride, pride that not only robs others the blessings that would come from serving us but also the power that would come into our own lives by others kindness and service. But most of all it can be at times a symptom of something else.

The Lord will never give us an aspect of doctrine or commandment to follow without presenting plenty of practice. Most of what we do in life is type or shadow of something to come, a low stakes way to grow in order to be ready when it matters most. The acceptance of others kindness is no exception. As I listened to this familiar Bible story it came to me in an unfamiliar light, and it's truth was burned into my heart. The practice of accepting service is practice for us to accept the kindness and mercy offered us through the Atonement. How often do we feel unworthy, in debt, or too proud to accept forgiveness and spiritual healing? Or tell ourselves that if we ask forgiveness than we will have to read our scriptures longer or be more faithful in our callings? Or even worse, we tell ourselves that we can't ask for forgiveness until we pay extra fast offerings or home teach more than once this week. We somehow get into our minds that the Atonement has a price tag attached until it can be accessed. Nothing could be further from the truth, and this week I finally see a way to be better and do better: let myself be served. Practice the feeling of gratitude instead of feeling in debt. Practice humility instead of pride. Practice receiving and giving back out of love and not obligation. Only then will the practice of accepting the Lord's help become permanent, and our actions in the name of the Lord will be because we are grateful and desire to bless others, not because we feel we must pay God back.

The Perfect Storm

When I began this blog, it was as Sister Michelle Green, missionary and representative for The Lord Jesus Christ and His restored Gospel. Gospel means "good news", and for 18 months I did all I could bring that good news to everyone who would listen. Now, a year since I came home, I sit in a chapel, again with my mother and grandmother, listening to General Women's Conference. As I listen to the words of many faithful women of God, I reflect upon my mission. It is, without fail, the most difficult and sacred 18 months of my life. Never had I felt myself break down in such a way, to the point where I felt there was little of me left. And today, right now, I see what is to be done. The parts of me that were not Christlike were torn down, and only I can allow the proper contractor to build me "right" this time.
In some way, we are all like an imperfect building, yet we are asked to be "perfect", or, as it is translated, complete. One can not rebuild what has not yet been knocked down. Every single day The Lord works on us, hoping to clear the way for His plans for us. Every day the adversary entices us to choose the wrong builder. Daily our windows break down, our doors squeak, our tile breaks, opening the way to use perfect materials this time. But there will be a time, for every single one of us, when a storm will come and beat us literally to the ground. A wind that blows through our glass, a flood to wipe out our insides, an earthquake to shatter our foundation. And one day, we will find ourselves in the perfect storm, the kind that will literally wipe us out in every way. It is in this perfect storm that we will finally be ready to be reborn, to be given an opportunity to become complete. It is in that moment that we have the eternally  fateful choice: who will build us again? Bitterness, anger, remorse? Or humility, hope, and the Atonement? I testify that every setback, sorrow, and burden we face leads us not only to the perfect storm, but to perfection within ourselves, but only in and through our Savior. May we choose Him as the architect of our lives.

Sacrifice: an Inconvenient Investment

My poor father is most likely sick of me exploiting stories about him and connecting them to the gospel somehow, but, hey, that's what dad's are for, right? To teach us? And in fairness this involves more than just him, it includes my whole family.
In a family of eight we had problems keeping any sort of junk food around for more than 15 minutes. It didn't matter where you hid what you had, by the next day it was gone. As a opportunist child I often did extra chores to earn money to buy candy to keep in my room. Without fail it would be eaten by someone. It was at these times I would complain and whine until my sister would remind me of the definition of insanity; to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
The main culprit was my Dad, which caused me much frustration. He would always say he would buy me more than I had before but I was too upset and proud to let him. I didn't want him to pay me back because than I couldn't be mad at me anymore.
Fifteen years later I am back living at home again. I have long since given up on hoarding treats and hiding them. I have learned that if they get eaten they get eaten, and now that I have a license, its not so much of a big deal to just run out and buy more.
But this week something happened, and then it clicked. Lately I have had a huge addiction to frozen chocolate that I keep in our freezer to snack on. My mom ate some one night, but it was no big deal, because she replaced literally 10 fold.
As I stacked the candy in the freezer I had an incredible answer to my prayers and thoughts of late. When times are hard, there are a lot of things that get said. From "think about how much you will grow" to "it will be worth it" or "it can't last forever, it will get better". These are all really vital pieces to keeping hope through hard times, but it also isn't really that helpful in the moment. I think, "great, but what about today, right now, right here?" I suppose the Lord knew that I already had the answers, but that I needed to hear it in a new way. As I was putting those chocolates in the freezer it hit me; this is the result of a slight inconvenience-and it has yielded incredible results. Yes, that night when I went to get my candy and it wasn't there I was upset. In the moment there was nothing I could do about it. But after all my past experiences I realized that being upset or refusing a "refund" to make up for it was the wrong thing to do. Instead I said and did nothing. I forgot about it really, and then, the next day, I more than doubled what I had. I realized that I had lost that investment for years by not letting my dad pay me back for the treats he would eat. Even more importantly, I realized how often I had denied Christ the opportunity to make up trials to me. He may take the candy for a bit, a inconvenience and an impossibly long moment, but at the end of it all, I should never let my pride rob me of the investment Christ is ready to give me. It was then I realized that sacrifice is an inconvenient investment.

Do Not Let It Beat Me

In High School this could easily have referred to track and field. But it means something far more to me now. A few years ago my brother-in-law was diagnosed with ALS. Some of you may be familiar with this from "Tuesdays with Morrey". In a nutshell the patient has their muscles slowly shut down in random order and in random spurts, until, usually within 2-5 years, the patient dies from lack of breathing. Do I really know why this happened? I am beginning too, because despite what it has done to us, it has done a lot of things for us. And for the first time in my life, I really am beginning to understand what that means.
The Hunger Games is one of my favorite movies/books. I find myself having to defend the fact that it is about kids brutally killing one another for food/money/glory because of what the book is really trying to say. One of my favorite moments is when one of the characters, Peeta, tells the main character, Katniss, that even though he is about to enter an arena where he either dies or kills, there is one thing he will hold onto: himself. The government may have taken away many of his freedoms, it may be forcing him to enter into the arena, and it may have a lot to say about his life, but it cannot determine who he becomes. In short, they cannot beat him-for "they do not own [him]". No matter how ugly the situation gets, he will not fall into the trap of becoming hollow and cruel. I know we all wonder how we would be in extreme conditions, would we be the ones who gave up, the ones who became cruel, or would we rise to the occasion? And now I finally understand why that means so much to me, because it is what I have been praying for for a long time now.

Ever since I got home from my mission (which was this January), I have tried to come to terms with, Ben, my brother-in-law's-illness. In the mission field it was hard for it to seem real. When I left he had just been diagnosed and could still do most things pretty normally. Now, about all he can do is move his fingers, his legs, and his head. Even talking to hard and tiring, and frankly, I haven't known what to do. Part of me wants to stay distant, thinking it will be easier if I'm less attached. Part of me wants to be there every second and spend what time I have with him. Part of me is so scared that it is hard to be by him. Part of me is so grateful and hopeful that all I want to do is be by him. And all these parts of me have been pretty much an awful tug-o-war inside of me. But tonight, as I got home from work and sat in my kitchen thinking, I realized that this was what Peeta was talking about, and I asked myself, "are you really going to let this beat you?"
Then I realized, this is what it was like to be in a situation where you had to decide, and you had to decide quick. I always thought that it would be obvious when the time came, that it would be a huge crossroads, but until now, I wasn't even aware that that was where I was. No, I'm not in a war or a natural disaster or in a Hollywood zombie apocalypse where I am forced to become more human or more animal, but I am still in a place to choose. I, like Peeta, do not have to let ALS own me, define me, control me. I, like Peeta, can still show it and God and myself that it cannot change me for the worse, it cannot beat me, it cannot not make me what I don't want to be. And because I see that now, I have the strength to do it.
So watch out ALS, I will not let you beat me. And whoever you are, and whatever you are facing:

and do not let it beat you either.

The Science of Faith Part 3

Chemical vs Physical Change

I was in the seventh grade when I was educated in the difference between a chemical and physical change. A physical change doesn't change what the object is-it just changes its appearance. If need be it could be brought back again to its normal state. Like tearing a paper in half or sand papering a block of wood physical changes have little to do with what the substance ends up becoming. On the other hand chemical changes occur when the object's make up is actually altered to the point where the object can no longer go back to what it was before. It would be like lighting a log on fire and having it turn into ash-it is a completely new substance that cannot be turned back into wood. Chemical change often alters the appearance, but most importantly-it changes what the object is forever.

My new companion Sister Streeter has a song that is called "That's What Faith Can Do". As I listen to it I can't help but add to the list of miracles, faith can accomplish the miracle of change. True faith in the Savior and in His Atonement means that we come out of the experience a "new creature", "born again", "having no more a disposition to do evil"; in essence we have a "mighty change of heart" (Mosiah 5:2)(Enos 1:4-8). On the other hand, insufficient faith in what the Savior can and will do to our lives if we let Him results only in a temporary change in demeanor or action-in other words our heart changes not at all. The Gospel of Jesus Christ has a purpose far greater than changing our actions or our outward appearance; it has the power to envelope us into a new way of thinking, feeling, acting and being. I was once told that if I had faith in the Atonement I would realize that there "was nothing its love couldn't heal, nothing its power cannot make right" and as I exercise faith I am beginning to see that is the case. I know with all my heart that His Gospel is a Gospel of change-powerful enough to make us entirely new people that can and never will go back to who we were before. If we truly wish to experience "a mighty change of heart" than we must undergo the spiritual "chemical change" available only to those that believe and act on their belief in Christ, for His reply to this change in us has and always will be the same,

"be of good comfort, thy faith hath made thee whole." 

Luke 8:48

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland

(To read full talk click here, to watch click below)

The Science of Faith Part 1

The last few months I have been studying faith and how we can build it. As I was studying I began to notice how much science and faith were alike. I have decided to do a couple three blogs on what I have found.

Part One: Precision and Accuracy

My senior year I took a statistics class and was educated in the difference between accuracy and precision. Accuracy is how close you get to somethings true value. Precision is how often you get the same results over a period of time in the same situation. Both are vital to getting valid and useful results.  I was thinking about how this relates to our faith.

The Stripling Warriors-Alma 57:21

In order for our faith to bring us true results we must be both accurate and precise. We must make sure our actions match up perfectly with what we are asked to do; we must be exactly obedient or accurate. We must also place our faith IN Christ and not anything else. Only when we are accurate in our faith can we expect and have an assurance that God will do His part. Like a function or machine what we put into it directly correlates with what we get out of it and thus the more accurate our actions or Faith in Christ become the more we are able to receive the blessings of the Lord (1 Nephi 1:20, Ether 12:6) and feel confident in His presence (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45)

In addition to accuracy we must make our faith precise or in other words consistent. Over time our actions must continue to fall close to the mark or we will never be able to enjoy the long term blessings of faith. When our actions are consistent we reap the results of these actions shaping us to be not just act more like our Savior. In short, when our faith is precise we become precisely what we came here to be-more like our Heavenly Father.

I know that though faith takes self-discipline, hard work, and diligence that if we treat it with the same deliberateness, dedication, and carefulness as scientists do than we will receive powerful life-altering results. Faith really can change our lives if we pay attention to the small details (Alma 37:6-7) that allow us to be both precise and accurate. True faith will always bring us blessings-for we have the greatest scientist telling us so: God.

Additional Scriptures:

Accuracy: Alma 57:21
Precision: 2 Nephi 31:20, Mosiah 2:41
 

The Grapes of Wrath

My father loves to make things out of our garden. From pickles to nuts to freezing green beans we have tried making many things from our garden. Usually our ideas stem from us growing way more than we would ever want of something (side note: never plant more than one zucchini plant unless you plan on making zucchini bread every day for at least 3 months). One year in particular we had far too many grapes. My Mom hopelessly tried to juice them but it was time-consuming and yielded very little profit. So, my Dad came to the rescue with a fool proof idea: raisins. They had to be pretty easy to make and they don't go bad very quickly so it was the perfect solution-or so we thought.
Turns out there are a few steps to making grapes; you have to de-stem them and then spread them out and then put some lemon juice on them before you set them out to dry in the sun. Pretty simple but surprisingly time consuming, especially with little home-grown grapes. We all soon were rather tired of making raisins, but we kept going as best we could. My Dad came in one day and saw our red rimmed eyes, bleeding fingers from de-stemming (that may or may not be an exaggeration), and the huge pile of grapes yet to undergo the process of becoming raisins and took pity on us. He proposed yet another idea: to just throw the grapes outside and without de-stemming them or putting lemon juice on them. We told him we didn't think that would work, we would be missing some key steps, but he told us he doubted it mattered much and that he was sure it would work and save us a lot of time and effort. So we did as he suggested, we simply unceremoniously placed the grapes on cookie sheets, covered it all with a sheet, and waited. Then we waited some more. Then we mourned the fact that for a whole week no one had been able to use any cookie sheets because they were all still outside. Then we waited a little longer. Finally, when the fruit flies showed up we decided it was time to throw the now rotting grapes away and reclaim our cookie sheets... Needless to say it had been a bit of a failure-though a well meaning and noble try.

In essence we are all grapes right now doing our best to become more like raisins (Christ and Heavenly Father). The steps of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are simple and easy to follow, but sometimes we seek to find an easier, shorter way. But just like a grape will never be a raisin without it undergoing a precise but simple process, we can never reach our potential without carefully following each step of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end). Nephi, a prophet in the Book of Mormon said:
"wherefore, they shall come to the knowledge of their Redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know how to come unto him and be saved." (1 Nephi 15:14)
Let us each learn more about the very points of Christ's doctrine, so that we too can reach our full potential.

Broken Arms and Run-Down Houses

I think most of us have broken a bone at some point. Luckily for me I have only broken one once; my right arm. After watching some X-Games, at 10 years old I decided to become a professional BMX biker. Naturally, there was no reason to start small, so I grabbed my garage sale mountain bike, a small boulder, and a old piece of plywood to begin my training, because of course, there are few more stable ramps than homemade plywood/boulder ones. Wanting to maximize my height as I jumped, I set my ramp up at the bottom of a hill in my neighborhood. Soon I was speeding like an arrow toward that ramp, and given the crookedness of the top, I began to question the safety of actually going off of it. Panicked, I slammed on my brakes-my front brakes, at just about the time I started off the highly unstable jump. Then, the next thing I remembered was getting up, and looking down to see my horribly bent right wrist.
A kind neighbor helped me home and when I got inside my older brother asked what was wrong, because I was crying. I showed him my wrist and he immediately knew I broke it and went to call our mother. Not wanting to have to go to the doctor I said "it may not be broken, what if its not? Maybe we should just wait and see for awhile, it'll most likely be better tomorrow". Adamant my brother sat me down, called my Mom, and soon I was headed off to my Dad's office. After a few X-rays he was ready to set the bone. I however, was not. I didn't want anyone near my arm, let alone to set it. At first he offered a numbing shot, but as I have an intolerance to sharp things near my person, I declined. Respecting my agency he began to set the bone-it took about 3 seconds for me to yelp like a cat getting its tail ran over. Of course he got the needle out, numbed the arm, and was able to easily set it that time. Soon I was in my new cast and I went from feeling miserable to feeling like a war-hero. I looked at what I deemed as pure torture and had survived it and now had a cool cast to prove it. I couldn't wait for others to sign my cast.

Now before we get to how this relates to the gospel, I have one more story for ya'll to mull over. Well more of a scenario. Let's say we moved into a new home, and it needed a little TLC-picture "Flip this House". The electricity may not work, or the faucets may leak, or the painting job may be an ugly puke green. When we move into a home do we often say "well, it came that way, guess it'll have to stay that way"? Not usually. We may not get around to it, or have the money for it right away, but few would just decide it was impossible to fix those things.
Now for how these both relate to the gospel-
Broken arms: How often have one of us said to ourselves when we have a pain or an injury that we'll just wait and it will most likely get better? People may try to get us to go get checked yet we worry about insurance, time, what the doctor will say, convenience, or even worry nothing is wrong and we'll look weak by going in. As fatal and painful as putting off going to the doctor can be to our bodies, I am here to tell you that our spirits are no different. We all experience mistakes, trials, and hurt in life; in essence we all break our wrists. But just as a bone will never heal right without the touch of a master our souls will never be healed without being set in place by the Master's hands. Under Christ we are all "insured", for "salvation is free". (2 Nephi 2:4) All we need is a copay of faith and humility-a broken heart and a contrite spirit (Enos 1:4-8, 3 Nephi 9:20). He will never mock us for what we believe is wrong or call us weak for coming to Him. No matter how painful the process may be or how long the healing process may take it is worth it, and no matter how badly broken we are, we are always fixable-it is never too late. And in His mercy the Lord sends us His spirit (the numbing shot) to comfort us through the experience. Literally, we are never left alone, and once He is finished our spiritual casts can become a hope to others; our experiences and testimony of our healing can inspire others to go to Christ, and each signature we get just adds to our and Christ's joy as we bring others unto Him.
Run Down Houses-None of us come into this world perfect, and though we often expect ourselves to be, we never seem to believe we ever will be so. We look at so many other "houses" and see all that we aren't, and yet believe our own faults can never be made whole. We begin to say to ourselves "well that is just how I am" and think we are doomed to live in a "house with a leaky faucet forever". That just isn't the case. The Savior has commanded us to be "perfect even as [He] is perfect" (3 Nephi 12:48). We truly are expected to be perfect one day, and rather than discourage us that should make us very excited, for "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7). It is possible to make the needed "repairs" in us, in fact, we have everything in our favor to do so. The most exciting thing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that it brings with it the good news that we are never stuck with how we came into this world but rather have every possibility of becoming everything we came here to become. All it takes is faith in and obedience to Christ and His Gospel. If we never thought the repairman could fix the faucet, would we ever call? And if we did would we follow the instructions he gave us to fix the problem? Similarly, only when we have faith that Christ can perfect us will we call upon Him, and follow His instructions He gives to us. I testify that when we do so we can become whole, complete, and perfected in Him.

Additional Scriptures:
Matthew 9:22
Mark 9:23-24

Perfectly Comforted and Comfortably Perfect

We have all had people come into our lives at the seemingly perfect time, whether it was to comfort, guide, stop us, push us forward, teach us, and even correct us. For lack of a better phrase I suppose we would call them our "angels" sent here to help us along our way. I had one of these in my life during my stay at college a few years back, and this person would always tell me something that I never understood, "remember I am not the one who is comforting you". Well, I am happy to say, that two or so years later I get it, due to an account in the Book of Mormon.

Alma and Amulek were two missionaries who taught the people of Ammonihah. The people of Ammonihah did not recieve them well, in fact, their scriptures were burned, as were those of their faith, and they were forced to watch. Then they were imprisoned. On top of all this, because of Amulek's decision to serve with Alma, his family and friends rejected him (Alma 15:16). He also forsook his fortune. In essence, he had lost nearly everything one can have in life; position, friends, money, and most of all, family. Personally, I don't know if I could make it through all of that. But at that critical time in Amulek's life there is a verse that I love, it says:

"Now as I said, Alma having seen all these things, therefore he took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord." (Alma 15:18)
I love the phrase, "strengthened IN the Lord". Alma didn't neccessarily comfort/strengthen Amulek, the Lord did through Alma. When we are asked to "comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9) we should be doing this through Christ, for He is the one that can perfectly comfort us. Otherwise, we will only provide a certain level of comfort and for only so long. But, if we allow ourselves to be a tool in the Lord's hand to "bind up the broken hearted" (Isaiah 61:1), then we, through Him, can provide perfect comfort, for He has already suffered all that he may "succor" (run to) us in our time of need. (Alma 7:11-12)

Invite Him In

I have been thinking a lot about trials lately and I read something in the Old Testament that stood out to me. It is the account of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego being thrown into King Nebuchadnezzar's furnace. Those three men refused to worship the King's golden idol, and were punished by being bound and cast into a furnace that had been made seven times hotter than normal. Amazingly they were not burnt at all. In fact, as Nebuchadnezzar looked in to see them he found that those three were not the only men in the furnace. He asked his servants what they saw, and this was their reply:

"...Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God." (Daniel 3:25).
As soon as the King saw this he commanded they be let out, and not only did he let them go, he promoted them in the "province of Babylon" and commanded that anyone that spoke against their God would be punished. (Daniel 3:26-30)

Often in our lives we may find ourselves thrust into the furnace of affliction. Sometimes, that furnace is way hotter than it should normally be. At these times in our lives we have a choice; let the fire burn or purify us. How do we decide? We choose whether or not we invite Christ into the fire with us. Without him our trials will make us bitter, depressed, angry, frustrated, and weakened. With him they will make us more patient, compassionate, aware of God, strong, grateful-the list goes on and on, and the thing is, it is our choice. If those men had gone into the furnace alone they would have been killed, and, interestingly enough, had they not gone in at all they would never have been promoted nor been able to have a whole nation view their testimonies through the experience. We are the same. We have the opportunity to be "cast" into furnaces. In those moments we are blessed with Christ's help to bless and purify our lives and character and to be able to share this testimony to anyone watching. Our fires can be a blessing to not only us, but to those around us-if we so choose. Robert Frost has told us to "take the path less traveled", but I would add that when we take that walk, it matters just as much who we invite to walk with us. I think Hymn 85 "How Firm a Foundation" sums it all up pretty well:

“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."

I know if we take Christ with us, no fire can ever burn us up, it can only melt us down and make us something better. And not only that, a better sense of peace than you had before will enter your lives because of your trial. Like jumping into a pool after a long days work outside, our lives will seem sweeter and more fulfilling after our labor of soul.

My Personal Trainer

As a missionary I get asked the question "why do we need an organized church?" a lot. As long as we are aware of God and seek to be good people, why do we need a "middle man"? Well, I must admit, it is a valid question, and so, I have begun to research it. I found my answer in two ways-scriptures and an analogy.
1-One reason we have a Church is because God commanded it. All throughout the Bible and Book of Mormon we learn of God calling prophets to set up and establish Christ's church "for the perfecting of the saints" (Ephesians 4:13). Christ tells Peter "upon this rock I will build my church" (Matthew 16:18), the Old Testament speaks of "congregations", and Christ himself called 12 Apostles and set apart men to help Him bring others to Christ. Basically, Church was never man made, but God mandated. We have a church because God set one up for us, and He even names its purpose, "for the perfecting" of us. That leads me to reason number 2.
2-Many of us have had the chance to walk into a gym. In a gym we find people taking classes, lifting weights, running on the treadmill, and even those people that go just to check themselves out in the full size mirrors. A few of these people may have a personal trainer with them, showing them workouts that will best help them reach their fitness goals. To me the people who have chosen to have a personal trainer will get far more out of their gym experience then those going at it alone. They may reach many of their goals, but for the gym to have its best affect on them they need a personal trainer who has all the knowledge and tools under their belt to help personalize, motivate, and teach them how to use the gym to their best advantage. The personal trainer isn't a middle man or a roadblock in the gym members way of using the gym's facilities-he or she is only there to work with them as they use all the gym has to offer. This is exactly how I feel about Church. It is not that Church is in the middle of me and my relationship with God and His commandments. Rather, Church is there to work with me to fully understand God's dealings with His children, motivate, uplift, and help me reach my personal spiritual goals in an individual and real way. It is not a hindrance at all, rather, a blessing and a tool God has placed here for us. I don't need Church to have a good relationship with God, but I do need the Church to help me build the strongest relationship I can have with Him. I would feel ungrateful and horribly amiss to say I didn't need the help of the organization of Christ's Church to become all I can become-to reach my full potential. Otherwise, I would be selling myself short. I never could have learned what I have or had the strength to apply what I have learned without the help of church meetings, leaders, and the incredible Spirit I feel each time I enter the building. It has been my personal trainer, and I am eternally grateful for its role in my life; I would not be who I am without it.

Additional Information Church Organization/Attendance:
Bible Dictionary: Church
Bible Dictionary: Sabbath
3 Nephi 27:3-11
Leviticus 8:3-5 (example of congregations)
3 Nephi 18:1-25
Moroni 6:5-6
Doctrine and Covenants 59:9-15
Exodus 20:8-11
1 Corinthians 12
Mosiah 18:8-9, 25
Doctrine and Covenants 29:7-8
Alma 6:6
Matthew 18:20
John 10:16
Ephesians 2:19-20

The Holy Ghost and Snowmobiling

When I was about 14 my family took a vacation to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It was sort of a tradition to go skiing there a few days after Christmas and to spend some time with some of our family living nearby in Pocatello, Idaho. This year was just a little different though, because this year we were taking a day off from our skiing adventures to try our hand at snowmobiling.
I had a little bit of excitement at the thought of it-I had never been before and I was anxious to try it out. Plus, we weren't just going anywhere, we were headed for some hot springs. We got to the rental place and they suited us up in gear; sleek black snowsuits and black visor-ed helmets. I remember feeling a little bit like Speed Racer in the get up and I was excited to drive, but my parents wisely suggested I ride behind my older brother for the first half of the trip first to get the hang of it. Impatient but obedient, I hopped on the back of my brother's snowmobile.
After a hour or so we stopped to break and play in the snow. I was begging to drive the entire time, so eventually, my brother gave in and handed the keys over. I was shaking I was so excited. I hopped on, fired her up and waited for my brother to get on back. Soon we were on our way.

Besides Mario Kart this was my first time really ever driving a vehicle. What my brother and I soon found out is that I did not have an aptitude at driving. I tend to speed up rapidly, panic, brake, get far behind, panic, speed up too fast again, and then continue on the vicious cycle. This horrible pattern was soon intensified by the fact that we began traveling on a road next to a little ravine. Scared at how close the edge looked I began veering very much to the right side of the road into the hill on that side. The snowmobile would ride up the hill a bit until I panicked once again and turned sharply to the left to get off, only to feel to close to the ravine again. My poor brother was at his wits end by the time we got to this nice open field. I could practically hear his sigh of relief. It was only just a little louder than my own. Unfortunately the big open field was a little less open than I thought. To me the whole area looked like a big huge space of white. It wasn't snowing and the sun wasn't that bright yet I swear I was somehow experiencing a white out. I just kept driving along, faster and faster, trying desperately to catch up to the rest of the gang. I could hear my brother shouting something at me the whole time and I felt his arm pointing to something, but I was too discombobulated to really pay attention. Suddenly I experienced this horrible feeling of having no ground underneath me and then; wham! I was head first in the snow. I slowly got up, wondering what had happened. I saw my brother a few feet behind me, the snowmobile halfway in the snow, and saw above us all a little ravine I had somehow driven us off of into the snow below. Needless to say I was embarrassed, confused, and scared.
Luckily there was no damage, someone drove the snowmobile back up the bank, and I was rightfully banished to ride behind someone again. I later found out that what my brother had been doing behind me was pointing to the road and yelling "road, road, Road, ROAD!" to no avail. I had been too preoccupied and confused to listen-hence we ended up flying off of a ridge.

In our own lives we have similar experiences. We are all on our journey in life, excited to "drive the vehicle" and take ourselves where we want to go. Though we ourselves may be inexperienced, we have the right to receive constant guidance from someone who knows perfectly the path laid before us; the Holy Ghost. He can help us understand not only where to go, but how to get there. Often in life we become too overwhelmed, stressed out, and frustrated to listen to his gentle promptings. Then, if we are really getting ourselves into trouble, he begins to shout, point, and make a ruckus in general to save us from spiritually wrecking. Even then, if we have allowed our minds to be clouded by disobedience, worldly influence, or just plain old distractions of the world and stress of day to day life, we still might not hear or understand his council. At that point, we are sure to wreck. I am eternally grateful that even when we wreck we have access to the Atonement that will restore our lives and put us back on the path, this time with a little more help, until we are ready to drive again toward our spiritual destinations.

No Decision is a Decision

My Grandfather has two twin brothers, Tom and Jerry. According to my Grandpa they were the "cat's meow" and frankly I believe him when I see pictures. They look like James Dean to me and I enjoyed hearing stories about them. My favorite by far is a story about when they were young and were riding a tandem bike together. The two were having a good time and soon started down a big hill. This hill descended into a wide open field with just one tree standing errect, right in the middle. Down they went, speeding directly into the path of the tree. Now I admit I can't remember which was driving but to save confusion lets say it was Jerry. All the time that bike was speeding towards that tree poor Tom was thinking "he's gonna turn any minute now, he's just fooling with me". He thought this right up until the minute that bike hit right smack dab in the middle of that tree's trunk and they went sailing into the dirt. Thankfully, neither one was too badly injured, but of course Tom turned to the Jerry and cried out in disbelief "why didn't you turn away from that tree?" Jerry's reply is something that I"ll never forget, he told Tom "I couldn't decide if I should turn to the right or to the left".

Now although the story is humorous, my Grandfather made sure he let us know what the moral of that story was; no decision is a decision. Now I am the kind of person that struggles deciding which glove to put on first as I leave for the day. Decisions are a hard thing because often we fear of making the wrong one. God has given us the divine gift of agency-the power and ability to choose for ourselves. Often the Advesary attacks us not only by trying to make us decide the wrong choice, but often he gets us by making sure we make no decision at all. By keeping us on the "fence" in life we get out of making a choice, but we also forfit God's blessings and personal growth. It is only when we realize that no decision IS a decision that we can free ourselves from this trap and avoid running spiritually into trees. We can choose with confidence knowing that not only can we be guided in our choices by the Spirit, but should we fall down a forbiden path, the Atonement is always available to bring us back. And this Faith in Jesus Christ is what gives us the power and confidence to decide today to follow Him; even if it costs us the painful process of making a choice and a change.

The Door of the Sheep

I happen to love reading and before I came on my mission I made a goal of reading all the Newbery Award Books. It was a lofty goal and unfortunately I didn't finish but I read one that will stick with me forever. It is called "The Door in the Wall" by Marguerite de Angeli. The story follows a young son of a knight who dreams of becoming a warrior like his father. While he father is absent the lad gets sick and although recovers most his strength back with time, his legs become mostly useless, making knighthood out of the question. Instead, he is sent to an Abby far away to learn to read and write and find a way to make a trade. The boy is bitter about his lot and fights against learning anything other than knighthood. A kind monk patiently works with him and teaches him to swim, whiddle, read, write, and even makes him crutches that allow him to get around with some mobility. Over and over again he tells the boy that hard things may put a wall in our path to what we want, but we always have the ability to make a door. He tells the boy to learn all he can so that when he meets a wall in life he will always be able to make a door in it and keep progressing forward. The book is short and I don't want to spoil the end for any intrigued readers but the story itself stuck with me because of the monk's advice to prepare for walls so that when they come we can make a door through them. There are many applications to our lives of this sound advice but I want to focus on one: the Atonement.

In the Bible Dictionary under names of Christ it lists "the door of the sheep". It is in reference to John 10:7,9. That really stuck out to me because it really puts perfectly into words who Christ is to us when we come accross our own walls or trials in life: he is the door. No matter how difficult or impossible life may seem at times we know that although we ourselves may not be able to climb over or break through them we know that if we allow Christ into our lives he will always provide a door for us. There is nothing his power cannot heal or make right and as we realize that the Atonement begins to have real power in our lives. I know that Christ lives and that he is our door if we let him and become his sheep as we prepare every day for our walls in life. So, let us like Nephi go through life and say "I will go and do" for "the Lord shall provide a way for (me) that (I) may accomplish." (1 Nephi 3:7) If we do so we will never meet a wall too high, thick, or strong for us, for Christ truly is the "door of the sheep".

Lake Powell and the Gospel

So my family LOVES going to the lake. I think we all live for the week of the summer spent on a houseboat on Lake Powell. Its the most relaxing week of my life every year. We basically anchor ourselves to the beach and spend a week sleeping in, boating to see the beautiful sights like Rainbow bridge, wake-boarding, skiing, eating, and tubing. There is nothing in the world to rival a trip to Lake Powell. The only catch is the wind storms. Every now and then a giant wind decides to pick up. Its horrifying to be out on the lake and only a little less terrifying to be on the actual houseboat. As the wind picks up the boat sways back and forth, threatening to debeach itself at any moment. For years we heard horror stories of sunk ships and broken boats and bones. After some time our luck ran out and we added our own horror story to the book of Lake Powell wind tragedies.

We can secure our lives as we tie off to the anchors God provides

A lot of time is spent at Lake Powell playing card games or watching movies. I think I was watching a movie at the time and happened to look out the window and notice some wind was picking up. I thought, "good thing our anchors are in super good". We prided ourselves in the depth of the hole and the weight of the rocks on top and even the wetness of the sand for extra support. Our angles to the boat from the lines were even excellent. I was so unworried about it I just continued watching the movie. Suddenly I had this weird feeling of movement. I looked out the window where a few minutes before there had been a picturesque water scene; it was now the beach. I ran to the other window and saw that our lines from the boat to the anchor had somehow come undone and though the anchors were safely in the sand our boat was only attached to two of them and we were now swinging completely back and forth from one side of the beach to the other. Of course I raised the alarm and just as we were about to hit some rocks my dad got the boat fired up and backed us away and out into more open water. The catch was that action tangled the ropes into the propeller. I elected to dive under, untangle them, and bring back to the beach where my brothers would be waiting to retie them up. Meanwhile my dad would wait til I was safely on the beach with the ropes, fire up the boat, and re-beach us as we tied the lines off again. Luckily my uncle was able to get the ropes out with me and soon we were re-beaching ourselves, this time careful to tie the knots well. It was a scary and stressful time but eventually we were all safe and secured and back inside soaking wet, too relieved to do anything but stare at each other.

The gospel provides secure anchors for our lives

In so many ways this is how our lives are. We have anchors in our lives that secure us to the beach so that we can have the vacation of our lives, as in live in joy as only the righteous do (Mosiah 2:41). We can enjoy all that life offers us even when the winds and trials rise up because we will always be safe on the beach. The anchors of our Savior, the Book of Mormon, the gospel, our Heavenly Father will never fail. So what goes wrong? Our lines. The "rock of our salvation" never moves, not even an inch. It is up to us to tie ourselves off to this security with our own lines and ropes in order to enjoy the safety those anchors provide. We can strengthen this link by obedience to the Commandments, faith, repentance, scripture study, and sincere and daily prayer. When we put in the time for example, to truly read and ponder and pray about the Book of Mormon, we tie ourselves securely to the anchor of our faith in the Restored Gospel. The Book of Mormon will always be a perfect anchor (Introduction page) to our testimony of Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but it is up to us to tie the line. Whenever we become lax in our reading of it, or lax in our obedience to any principle of the gospel that ties us to the anchors, we become vulnerable and when the winds hit we will de-beach and be left to be carried "to and fro" by the winds and waves of life (James 1:6). We will be left in a terrible pickle much like the one my family experienced. We can avoid this by making sure our lines are securely fastened to the anchors the gospel provides for us. But always remember, should we come undone, the Atonement is always there for us, and no matter how many anchors we untie from, no matter how bad the storm, and no matter how far away from the beach we have gone, Christ will ALWAYS provide a way back for us if we rely on his Atoning power in our lives. It is never too late to re-beach and re-secure ourselves to our anchors, and it is never a bad idea to continue to secure your line every day. Only then can we truly enjoy our "Lake Powell" vacation without fear or discomfort, even on the windy days.

*Over the last few months I have put a lot of thought into what my anchors are in my life. As I think about what has helped me through life's challenges and storms and turbulent water I realized that it is my belief in four things:
1) That I have a loving Heavenly Father who knows me personally and answers my prayers
2) That Jesus is the Christ and my Lord, Savior, and Redeemer
3) That Christ established a church while on this Earth and that that church exists today
4) That the Book of Mormon is the word of God; testifying to me that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet on the Earth today
If any of my "ropes" tied off to these anchors slacken even just a bit, I feel the difference and loss of stability in my life-especially in hard times. Even if three are strong and one isn't I may enjoy a fairly calm and stable life-but when life really hits my boat feels the absence of even one anchor. All four are vital to my success and peace in this life, and in my life to come.

If you would like to share your own anchors please Facebook me and I would love to post them! Thanks!

Angels We Have Heard on High

So I am rounding up with the Nativity story and have been thinking now about the angels. They appear a few times in the Nativity; to bring news to three parties 1-Mary 2-Joseph 3-the shepherds.

1-What can we learn from Gabriel? I think that we can learn that when we are asked of the Lord to open our mouths and teach/talk to people we are to do so. I am sure Gabriel was both excited and nervous for the news he brought; he knew the joy of the news but I am sure he also worried how Mary would react to it. I am sure he knew it was truth and something that would bless her life but it would also be hard to carry out. We, like Gabriel, must open our mouth still and focus on the blessings the gospel brings to people who hear it and not focus on the changes they will have to make and how hard it is. If we truly understand the blessings of the Lord through His restored gospel then sharing the message will be good news and not hard to hear. We will WANT to share it because we see the positive and the blessings rather than the "obligations". President Urchtdorf said "the gospel of Jesus Christ is a pathway not an obligation". Let us remember that as we share it with all who will hear us.

2-What of the angel that brought news to Joseph? He told Joseph after Joseph had decided to have Mary put away-"Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins." (Matthew 1:20-21) I am sure Joseph was confused and upset about what he had thought Mary had done, yet he still tried to do the right thing. When we come to trials or "upsets" in life the Lord can help guide us or clarify problems in our lives so that we can move forward in the way the Lord would have us and in the way that is best for us. Let us strive to live so that our example or even words can be a source of guidance and clarification to those around us confused but seeking the truth of the gospel that will lead them to Christ as the angel did for Joseph.

3-The angels brought unto the shepherds "glad tidings of good joy". Christ IS the glad tidings of good joy. Let us, like these angels, proclaim Christ to "all" (Luke 2:10) so that they too may come unto Christ. When we seek to truly understand who Christ is and utilize the Atonement in our own lives we will realize how wondeful the message of Christ truly is, and we will seek to share this message with all we can. "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings; that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good; that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth;" (Mosiah 12:21 or Isaiah 52:7)

Let us be like the angels of old and share the gospel message of blessings with courage, seek to guide others as we live the gospel, and share the glad message of the Atonement and life of Jesus Christ our Savior and Redeemer.

Joseph

Joseph to me is one of the most amazing characters of the Nativity. I often think about his quiet and firm example to us all. I think first of all we see that he is the kind of man worthy to marry Mary-the mother of the Son of God. That alone says a lot about this man. The second thing I notice about him is his charity. When he discovers Mary pregnant he had the power to have her stoned-he could have had his "revenge". Instead we are told in the Bible "Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily." (Matthew 1:19) Joseph loved Mary, he loved her enough to not to embarrass of chastise her but do all he could to help her. I think it was his charity that helped him receive his own heavenly messenger confirming that Mary was the mother of Christ and that he, Joseph, was to marry Mary and care for them both. I can only imagine how hard it would be to be the "step" father of the Son of God. I certainly would feel  inadequate to "fill-in" as Christ's earthly father to teach, meet his needs, and be an example to him; but he took the job gladly. Joseph was also an honest man. He went to pay his taxes when asked despite the hardships of traveling with a very pregnant women. He cared for his family and searched diligently for a place for them but when none was available he did all he could for them anyways. Christ worked alongside him in his carpentry and I am sure Christ watched Joseph as Christ grew "in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." (Luke 2:52) I love Joseph for his humble yet courageous example as a father and husband and as a servant of the Lord. We too can be as Joseph and seek to love and not find fault, live our callings and obey the Lord, and seek to better be an example of faith and help those around us watch, change, and "glorify our father" (Matthew 5:16).

Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh

The next member of the Nativity I would like to discuss is the gifts given to Christ by the wise-men. These gifts show to me that the wise-men loved and understood who Christ was.

Gold: Why gold? Well first of all it is worth a LOT. To me this gift of the wise-men was to show Christ they were willing to sacrifice a lot to know Him. They were willing to pay a price to find Christ in their lives and become better. When we come unto Christ we must be willing to sacrifice to allow the Atonement to work within us. An amazing example of this is Lamoni's father in the Book of Mormon. In Alma 22:15-18 Lamoni's father shows Aaron and God what he is willing to give up to know God. First it is his entire Kingdom; a pricy offer. But it is not until verse 18 that his "sacrifice" is accepted and Lamoni's father finds God. What was this sacrifice? ALL his sins. Let us search for ways we can sacrifice our sins to better know God for the more we become like Him the better we will know him. The second thing about the gold is that it was pure. For a long time we held gold as our currencies standard. I can think of no greater standard on this earth than Christ himself. He is the standard. He is the way. He is how we can learn to sacrifice our sins to Him and become as He is.

Frankincense: I learned in the Bible Dictionary that Frankincense was used by Priests during their sacrifices in the Temple. To me this shows that the wise-men truly knew Christ was here to be a sacrifice for our sins-to be the Lamb of God. They knew Christ's mission and what that meant for them-the price of their sins had been paid and it was now possible for them to return to God. To me this shows their deep gratitude and respect for this sacred gift of Christ.

Myrrh:  One of the uses for myrrh was for the embalming of the dead. Again the wise-men knew Christ. They knew he would die and then conquer death so that every single one of us can be Resurrected as He is and obtain immortality.





I know that the wise-men were giving the 2 year old Christ more than just "nice" gifts. They were showing their understanding, reverence, and devotion to Christ and His Atonement, example, and Resurrection for each of us. May we all follow their example and find meaningful gifts to give Christ this season. If we do so, we like the wise-men, may return home "another way" and allow Christ to change our hearts.